The View from the Couch
by Gavin McDougald of
betED
World ZZZeries - October 26th, 2005
A random sampling of folks from a number of walksof life demonstrated how much they are enjoying the World Series.Besides those who are actually in the business of covering thething, the overwhelming consensus is, “What Series?”
These are all east-coasters mind you, so theymay be a bit biased towards getting sleep. The games are delayedby a useless pre-game and finally get underway precisely whenits time to put the kids to bed. Then, because it is a World Series,the folks at Fox are maximizing on their commercial time. Dueto the import of every play, even if they are classic pitchersduels, they will extend into the wee hours regardless. Then throwin extra-innings… I know of no one who managed to make it allthe way through game three to tell the tale, unless they werepaid for it.
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I’m told Adam Everett popped up to short forthe final out at 2:20 a.m. ET – or about the time in my dreamsJennifer Anniston was asking me to rub her back. At 5 hours, 41minutes, it was the longest game by time in Series history.
I guess that’s a suitable record for a team likeChicago who haven’t won since 1917. Personally I would have lovedto see it, but my eyes gave up being open by the end of the sixth.
I wasn’t alone I suspect as this series is garneringthe worst television ratings since they’ve had ratings.
Why the apathy? Though the sleepy-time issueis a major factor, it’s not just the time involved. It’s who isplaying. Coming off last year’s Red Sox win this has the comparativeluster of, well, Houston. A city so boring the municipal governmenthad to initiate a program for the locals called, “Stop TrashingHouston.”
The Astros as a team are kind of bland as well.Entering the league as the Colt .45’s in 1962, their logo wasn’ta can of beer, rather a hand gun. Only in Texas. Since then theteam has languished in relative obscurity. Their biggest claimto fame was a stadium, and the originator of their current namesake,the Astrodome. This year’s series non-contenders do have characterslike the Rocket, Bagwell and Biggio. But for the first time inmore than half a century, their roster doesn’t include a singleblack player. Now that’s bland!
As for the other Sox, they aren’t even theirown city’s favorite team. Chicago’s columnists are left writingabout how crazy the city would be going if the Cubs – a team justas cursed as their south side rivals – made it all the way tothe Fall Classic. When the home town writers who cover the gameare looking for ways to juice up the story, you know there’s trouble.
With Chicago beating on the Astros – so I’m told- it looks like there will be a party on the south side like itwas 1959. At least someone will enjoy this someplace – althoughI somehow doubt Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore will be seen jumpingfor joy.
In Houston, things won’t be so happy. The onlylasting image will be of Barbra Bush behind home plate cursingout the umpire.
That is perhaps the most memorable image of theteam’s 44-years of Texas frustration.
What can baseball do to avoid these dogs in thefuture? Nothing much. They’ve already slanted the playing fieldas much as they can in order to ensure big market teams like NewYork and Boston make it in on a yearly basis.
That said, I do have a suggestion that solvesall of MLB’s – and our - troubles. Hold a relegation series betweenthe Yankees and the Red Sox as a nightly warm-up to the WorldSeries games.
The ratings would be through the roof – eventhough it would be meaningless. And that way at least I wouldget to see the end of at least some games.
Cheers – Gavin McDougald – AKA Couch
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